Americans Are Not Human Be-ings

A take on cuisine culture in Rwanda

View of Kigali from the Mille Collines hotel, photo by Sabrina Ellis

Imagine sitting down at an outdoor café in the green hills of Rwanda. The sky is overcast, the air feels wet and hot, the jungle breeze smells of foliage and smoked wood, and the sounds of tropical birds and boda boda motorbikes drifts up from the streets. You check your watch; it’s been 10 minutes and no sign of a waiter. Looking over your shoulder, you see other Rwandans eating and drinking, laid-back conversations in a different language swirling around. After another 5 minutes, the waiter approaches carrying a menu. He sets it on the table and leaves before you can snap his attention.

Getting frustrated, you quickly scan the drink list and settle on a Coke. Turning back to look over your shoulder, there’s no sign of the waiter. Sighing, you debate whether you should approach the kitchen and just order there. On second thought, you don’t want to come across as an impatient, rude American. So, you wait. And wait. After another 10 minutes, the waiter comes and takes your drink order but leaves before you can ask him about the Chèvre Brochettes et Frites. Time drags by the sun gets hotter, and your drumming fingers hit the table harder and faster. You think to yourself, “does it really take 30 minutes to get a glass bottle of coke? The café is practically empty!” You pull out your phone to distract yourself but have spotty service and give up. Completely frustrated, you cross your arms, hunch over, and stew under the African sun.

As it turns out, yes, it does take 30 minutes to get a glass bottle of coke. And at least another 2 hours to get your goat kabobs and rice. By the time your meal comes, you are so hungry that it can’t be enjoyed or appreciated, and you leave the café grumbling about the poor service compared to the factory-efficient restaurant systems in the United States.

What just happened? Nobody else in the café seemed to mind the wait. As it turns out, you’ve just had a typical Rwandan experience eating-out and squandered that cultural learning experience by obsessing on the annoying passage of time that slipped through your fingers so unpredictably. Why is it that culturally, Americans have a difficult time just being?

Traditional Rwandan meal, photo by Tyson Holman

I once heard a story from a Utah State University professor about a Russian foreign exchange student she met while studying her undergrad shortly after the Berlin Wall came down. The Russian student was fed-up with Americans constantly asking her how it felt to be “free” while living in the US. She eventually responded with a poignant observation: “Americans are not human be-ings.” Continuing, she explained that Americans are “human do-ings.” When pressed, for clarification, the Russian student shared her observation that Americans are constantly enslaved to their watches and the ticking minutes that circle about the clock face. Every moment is accounted and budgeted for. School children are punished severely for tardiness above most other elementary infringements despite their arrival time being out of their control. American introductions revolve around the phrase “what do you do for a living?” When having a moment of nothing, Americans will be quick to create something for them to do. Look around the next time you are in line and see how many people created something for them to do, probably on their phone.

Case in point: Americans are not human be-ings, they are human do-ings.

My first experience at a Rwandan café reminded me of French restaurants. Belgium’s French culture has continued long after colonization. I imagine the history of Belgium colonization had a lasting French influence on several cultural aspects in Rwanda, particularly culinary experiences. French is widely spoken in Rwanda, and many menus are in French and English. Eating-out in France is an event, not simply an occasion to quickly cram your stomach and move on with your day. It’s a moment to just be. As an American, I’ve found my default mode switch to “do-ing” more than I would like. With experiences as life-changing and thought-provoking as traveling to Rwanda, I’ve made a conscious effort of “being,” and have been rewarded with the great and simple gifts of foreign travel that would have otherwise slipped by in the ticking minutes of a measured life.

Approaching the second hour of waiting at a restaurant, photo by Emily Richins

There is an element of “being” that I admire in Rwandans. While traveling through their beautiful country, I’ve been mindful to “be” and not just “do.” I’ve learned and noticed things that would have been missed in a time-centered frenzy. I’ve been able to speak with people in markets, on the streets, and in villages, and learn about their families and interests. I’ve seen and heard birds unlike anything in the US. I’ve taken pictures of moths and butterflies with extraordinary, camouflaged wings. I’ve admired flowers and plants with vibrant colors, trees the blushed like poinsettias, and green avocados and limes hanging from branches. I’ve watched colorfully-dressed men and women carry sack of rice or stacks of wood on their heads as they walked up hills, babies bundled on their backs. I’ve learned about people’s past experiences, healing processes from past conflict, and individual triumphs through genuine conversation.

Travel provides a unique experience to set aside the American impulse of constantly “do-ing” rather than “be-ing.” Taking a page from the Rwandan cuisine experience, restaurant experiences have become poignant memory points of hilarious and thought-provoking conversations with friends rather than dragging spaces of frustration. Against intuition, perhaps more can be learned when you take time “be-ing.” The simple subtleties of culture and nature that pass by unnoticed in the torrent of timekeeping become highlights and treasured experiences. Within enough intentionality, perhaps I can become a better human “be-ing.”

Timeline of the Belgium takeover through the genocide: https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/rwanda/etc/cron.html

History of Belgium colonization in Rwanda: https://www.encyclopedia.com/social-sciences/encyclopedias-almanacs-transcripts-and-maps/africa-belgian-colonies